Monday, November 24, 2014

What The Undone Will Do

       There's a letter on your desk you've never opened, money in a drawer you've refused to count, an unheard voicemail on your phone you wont listen to and a hundred stories in your head you'd rather wash away than write down. You've been thru more then you can forget so you begin to drink or you were drunk the whole time you can't remember. You're not living you're re-living. You became quiet, you broke, you went away to find a different way back and forgot that you were gone and now you're here....
       
        Reading a 60 year old woman's poetry about her lovers, staring at the tentacles of friends, obsessing over the words on a fat mans T-shirt, holding the light against a starlets burnt out thighs. 

     You realize that by leaving things undone you were only constantly doing them, all this science is simple, you know the magic works, has never failed you and yet you won't practice it. You tell yourself everything you've ever done has ended up hurting someone so just sit still, don't move or speak, or write, or make any more monsters. Don't sing to them or they'll come back to you. Don't write songs about them or they'll never be able to be far away again....and....

        In your stillness you end up in their dreams, their thoughts, they grind you up in coffee and hunt you down with their forks in pieces of pork, they spit your name into the mouths of their lovers like you were a curse word, bite you off in their fingernails. 

         Why won't you fucking move they say and do what you have kept undone. Wash over us so we can wash you away....but 

        You only know how to move like a guillotine,  now though you've learned. You can make a drinking container out of a cut off arm, a canvas from the skin and a quill from the bone because....

         If you're gonna be a selfish, destructive, unpredictable prick, you might as well make some good art to keep you company....and

         With this thought, you begin to move again and nobody has anything good to say about what they wanted now. 

         Peace and love. 

                                            - Rafael V.